Will be signing out and deleting this blog at the end of the day :)
I’ve followed some of your blogs on my new account. :)
aksayya said: r u copying me
jks i dont actually have the willpower to stay off social networks
linna-pee said: can you just change your url?
but im paranoid that people will be able to google old posts and my blog still come up lololol
besides, end of an era deserves a new blog and fresh start :)
deleting my blog
going to delete my blog and make a new one (as soon as i can think of a new url… help guys! message me!). privacy issues and whatnot. ill follow most of you on the new one :)
tafe is done forever :) now that im going to have some spare time on my hands, going to work on fixing up eating habits and working out
running, pop pilates, and weights methinks. oh and more time with my boyfriend …. ;)
oh and for anyone looking for a new workout song…. THIS. it goes for a whole hour and its amazing
Had a fight with my best friend tonight/she thinks something is wrong but it’s actually just my moodiness
Second biggest fight we’ve eva had. The first is pretty hard to beat because she dramatically stormed out of my car as it happened.
took the bus home,
carried both bags with two good arms back to my studio apartment
and cooked myself dinner.
You and I may have different definitions of a good day.
This week, I paid my rent and my credit card bill,
worked 60 hours between my two jobs,
only saw the sun on my cigarette breaks
and slept like a rock.
Flossed in the morning,
locked my door,
and remembered to buy eggs.
My mother is proud of me.
It is not the kind of pride she brags about at the golf course.
She doesn’t combat topics like, ”My daughter got into Yale”
with, “Oh yeah, my daughter remembered to buy eggs”
But she is proud.
See, she remembers what came before this.
The weeks where I forgot how to use my muscles,
how I would stay as silent as a thick fog for weeks.
She thought each phone call from an unknown number was the notice of my suicide.
These were the bad days.
My life was a gift that I wanted to return.
My head was a house of leaking faucets and burnt-out lightbulbs.
Depression, is a good lover.
So attentive; has this innate way of making everything about you.
And it is easy to forget that your bedroom is not the world,
That the dark shadows your pain casts is not mood-lighting.
It is easier to stay in this abusive relationship than fix the problems it has created.
Today, I slept in until 10,
cleaned every dish I own,
fought with the bank,
took care of paperwork.
You and I might have different definitions of adulthood.
I don’t work for salary, I didn’t graduate from college,
but I don’t speak for others anymore,
and I don’t regret anything I can’t genuinely apologize for.
And my mother is proud of me.
I burned down a house of depression,
I painted over murals of greyscale,
and it was hard to rewrite my life into one I wanted to live
But today, I want to live.
I didn’t salivate over sharp knives,
or envy the boy who tossed himself off the Brooklyn bridge.
I just cleaned my bathroom,
did the laundry,
called my brother.
Told him, “it was a good day. Kait Rokowski (A Good Day)
This time next week I’ll be FREE!!!
I have 3 more assignments and one week left of Tafe. I am SO excited at the thought of this. So much free time on my hands :)
Almost 4am and I’ve slept for around an hour so far
Just can’t sleep :( and alls I want is cuddles and kisses but boyfriend has to get up in the morning for work and I feel so bad waking him. I also need to pee but I’m too lazy
This has been a live update from Kayla